My niece graduated with her Associates of Nursing, and I heard, she is going into Emergency Medicine to start. I am so very proud of her.
She had her pinning ceremony last weekend, and I wasn't invited.
The pinning dates back to the 1860s when beloved nurse Florence Nightingale presented her hardest-working graduates with a pin. By 1916 it became standard in the U.S. to give each nursing graduate a medal of excellence and a pin. The ceremonial pin depicts the medal, badge, and cross to bear Nurses are committing their lives to with dedication.
The Medal of Honor depicts the respect Nurses have "for the miracle of life and finality of death." The Badge of Courage is for "everything nurses do on the front lines fighting death and disease with courage and commitment." And the Cross to Bear is for the Nurse's dedication "long after others have given up hope and are long gone," according to http://www.rasmussen.edu/degrees/nursing/blog/nursing-pinning-ceremony-rite-of-passage-for-graduates/ Pretty hefty stuff.
I always thought I would be there celebrating her life. But I'm not.
I didn't actually meet my second niece until she was two years old. She stole my heart.
Being a Journalist, my career has taken me to 18 states in the last 30 years. During a lull I was able to be a big part of her life, and her brother's until he was three years old.
I was there off and on as she grew up. I genuinely liked her. I always made it a point to always speak to her (and my other nieces and nephews) on the phone. It wasn't enough.
I was running in and out of people's lives - oblivious to the bonds I was breaking.
It has not helped I'm estranged from most of my family by choice.
Still, I am perplexed on how it has come to this.
I wanted to be the quirky, fun Aunt, and always dreamed of being there for my nieces and nephews - even if their parents weren't.
During the years I lost my personal connection with my nieces and nephews. I thought once they get older, they will, on their own, pursue a relationship with me. I was wrong.
I had sent cards and gifts throughout their lives and found one sister never passed my gifts on to my niece and nephew. Another strongly discourages a relationship with me; and other sister does not approve of my lifestyle, which makes her uncomfortable. (However, she has been gracious enough to encourage her children have a relationship with me, of which I am grateful, even though she doesn't.)
Still I always thought I would be there for my nieces and nephews. I have to come to terms with the fact is I wasn't.
Now that I can, and am here for them, it's too late. My oldest niece is getting married this summer. I am not invited.
I waited too long. Those broken ties may be too far gone.
