Despite sleeping through the night Tuesday for the first
time since mid-April due to pain, (thanks to new meds!) I am again plagued with
nightmares of my rape, still unacknowledged by the U.S. Navy. I never thought I
would be triggered by America’s Favorite Father Bill Crosby!
I was waiting (into my second hour) for my MRI at the VA Hospital in West Roxbury, Mass., and the news of Cosby, again being silent on the rape accusations of 40 women, came on the TV in the waiting room. All of a sudden, I became very emotional. Tears started flowing to my embarrassment.
As part of my treatment which I am now being denied through continued one-on-one therapy by the famed Boston VA, I let those tears flow during my MRI. I tried the process of getting through my feelings, but was having trouble.
After the MRI, I sought help, from no less than 11 people, to find out where the area (Boston) Vet Center was located. (That’s where the head of VA Mental Help recommended I go for psychiatric help now, which btw are not federally funded and have no psychiatrist on staff. It also costs me $19 and seven transfers from bus to subway to bus to get there. And nearly all Vet Centers are filled with 1) Men, and 2) Men who are still on the streets, not great for a survivor of MST!)
I went to the chapel and cried some more. Finally I went to the West Rox Mental Health Department for help. That took another three people and they called my psychiatrist. As it is 10 hours later, I don’t think she will call back any time soon to help! Frustrating to say the least! I called the crisis line to reach out and feel better enough to write.
But, I digress into venting … My main problem with the whole Crosby affair are the statements by his counsel while trying to stop the newly released ADMISSION from the lying “role model” from being unsealed.
Attorney George M. Gowen III reportedly argued “it would be terribly embarrassing for the material to come out,” adding it would be “very hurtful for his family, business associates, friends, and charities as they did not know.”
So all this hoopla thanks to one man: Judge Eduardo Robreno, who reportedly was “guided by the sense Mr. Cosby had fashioned himself as a moral guide with pronouncements that offered his views on, among other things, child-rearing, family life, education and crime. The stark contrast between Bill Cosby, the public moralist, and Bill Cosby, the subject of serious allegations concerning improper (and perhaps criminal) conduct is a matter as to which The A.P. — and by extension the public — has a significant interest,” the judge wrote in a memorandum issued Monday. BOO YAH!
Tough shit if it is hurtful to his family, friends and business associates! I have no sympathy for them at all. Crosby was getting the ‘Ludes from somewhere!! Someone knew, and kept silent, (ALLOWED) in the past four decades, that he was drugging and raping women!
I often wonder how many other sailors were assaulted by my rapist due to me.
My former therapy friend, who is also triggered by Crosby, said of course we are affected when other women’s cases are being vindicated.
The lying aspect is just close to my heart
and life as a victim of Military Sexual Trauma – it has only taken 30 years to
get me to a stalled, unable to get a straight answer, Catch-22 state. But at
least I am sober!
